November 14th an ordinary morning, woke by a phone call. While struggling to find my orientation in the bed, news from other end wanted to keep in that dilemma “Loss of a loved cousin Brother”. Continued the day just as planned even including buying goods; put me in an emotional paradox, Am I still Human?
Despite the need of supporting my life force; had a plan to buy a camera, Nikon D3200, a good beginner DSLR. Found a good offer at http://www.komplett.se, an online shop. Cost of the camera with a 18-55mm VR kit lens, 16 GB memory card and an original Nikon bag is 3700 SEK where else in the shop it cost 4000 SEK only for the camera and a regular 18-55mm AF lens, no VR. So, went to the shop (www.elgiganten.se) with a printout of the offer I found at the online shop. Ambition was to convince them to lower the price and give a similar package. Eventually succeeded and came home with a feeling of great achievement and fulfillment. A quick look of my new toys.
Seating on my couch, looking at my new toys, started thinking how important was it for me? could not avoid hearing the whispers of my inner voice, how much does the loss of a brother cost? undeniably even less than 1000 SEK.
Question arises within me, shall I be shameful or is it independence? Afraid of finding the right answer rather quest for reasons.
Living completely on my own in a big metro like Stockholm has been a delightful experience of freedom, some would call independence but are freedom and independence the name for charismatic illusions to help us think of our own benefits only? Is it the big metro to be blamed or is it myself who allowed to be developed? Perhaps there are no definite answers, individual quest to find our own answers. what is yours?